My Best Imaginary Best Friends, Installment #3: Karl Lagerfeld

Just in case you missed the first two installments of this irregular series of mine, BIBFs #1 and #2 can be handily located within the links provided.

KARL LAGERFELD

In consideration of the fact that he designs for like a trillion labels a year which are all, duh, awesome, it's admittedly a very 'fashion-y' thing to deem Karl Lagerfeld your best imaginary best friend. Because really, who in their right mind wouldn't want access to all of that fabulousness all of the time? But this is besides the point, because Karl's place in my BIBF gang has little to do with his occupation or skill as a fashion designer.

From what I know of Kaiser Karl I've learned that he and I have one trait (other than, uhh, liking clothing), albeit a very specific and significant one, in common: a complete lack of regard and respect for political correctness. For example, few evenings ago I found myself in a social situation with some friends as well as strangers thrown into the mix. Me being myself, I of course began challenging various opinions and statements at the table at some point or another - mostly because I find it entertaining to do so and observe the varying degrees of reaction which inevitably occur thereafter. Naturally no one but G understood that, for the most part, I wasn't being entirely (or even remotely) serious. And it was one of those moments when I secretly thought to myself, "Karl Lagerfeld would so get where I'm coming from right now." And he would.

Case in point: Karl's semi-recent and much-talked-about interview for Prestige Magazine, wherein he not only stated that he hated all children, being touched and the smell of food, but also what is perhaps the most fascinating, hilarious and resoundingly true (for me) Lagerfeld quote ever:

"I don't want to have a social life. I've had enough of that in my life. It's demode. It's another era. Perhaps people are still excited by that era, but not me. It's uninteresting today. It says nothing. It's boring, pretentious and vulgar...Even for charity, people get paid. I try to avoid charity. It doesn't happen for me. I'm rich enough not to have to do that. Thank God I don't have to do that."
N.B. "Demode" has been my new favourite word since I first read this.

Being politically correct and inoffensive for the sake of being politically correct and inoffensive has never been a quality I admire in the people I associate myself with, and I believe that Herr Lagerfeld and I would get along like a house on fire as a result...well, hopefully not literally like a house on fire because battling flames is a little bit demode if you ask me, but I will assume that you know what I mean. Some of you may get where I'm coming from here, and some of you may not. Which is fine, because what's the point of entering the stratosphere of public life - or any kind of life at all - if not to be a polarizing figure, even if only slightly?

It is my firm belief that if one stands for nothing then one cannot claim to stand for anything at the same time. It is also my firm belief that many, many people do exactly that on the majority of given days of their lives. Lagerfeld's existence reminds me to revere my own, and not in an obnoxious, pretentious or demode way. He is merely a reminder that politics and morality and, even more superficially, style, are largely socially determined and sway from one way to the next just as the seasons change. Oh yeah, and if he were in fact my best friend I would probably have the most amazing wardrobe ever seen in the history of human existence.
So, to wrap things up: thus far in the BIBF series we've seen Anita Pallenberg as my imaginary fashion friend, Ryan Adams as my potential older brother of music and self-indulgence, and now Karl Lagerfeld as my fatherly moral compass. What's next? Tune in at some point in the not-so-distant future to find out...

P.S. Yes, I'm aware that my MS Paint skills leave something to be desired, but what else is new?